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My name is Ashlie. I lost my grandmother in the 4th grade, my father in the 5th, was sexually abused in the 6th by an uncle, and then for three years after physically abused by my moms second husband. I started avoiding food in the 7th grade (I was 13) when I went to a band camp and realized that I lost 10 pounds in a week walking around on campus in the heat rather than eating during breakfast, lunch and dinner. I continued the binge-purge-ana cycle for years, even through highschool and into college. I am 5'1 and my LW was 112. ( I know, it's not nearly what I ever wanted...my goal was always 95)...but, now, I'm distraught.

I got pregnant last year after a battle with my current boyfriend and seeking treatment (his idea)...I had gotten up to 130 and he was happy with the weight, and I needed somebody to lean on. I got up to 160 being pregnant because I became diabetic and aneimic. I had my daughter on 9-11 of last year and can't loose the weight. I cannot seem to loose the urge to constantly eat, and the diet pills aren't working anymore.

Can anybody suggest anything at all? something to help me get my ball rolling again? such as a fat free candy with no calories that I could suck on instead of eating, or soemthing? I've tried only eating fruit. I've tried smoking..it doesnt help anymore.. I've even tried slim fasts...the weight will NOT come off...please, sombody help me, I'm going crazy. I can't stand being this big...I used to be a size 3 and now I'm a 16. I love my daughter, and dont want to be so thin I cant watch her grow, but I need to drop some of this weight.

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